ah, Monday!

I both love and hate Mondays. They are the start of another long week of work, but they are also a chance to start again. I hear it in the gym all the time: "I'm starting my diet on Monday." "Monday, I'm starting a new phase of lifting." "I'll get back on track Monday."

Well today, I am one of many Monday resolutioners.

Today is 11 weeks out before the August 28th CBBF show. I've been up and down and back and forth about the date of my next show this past few weeks, and have finally decided for SURE that I'm going to do one. I feel so much better when I have a dated goal in mind. I find it much easier to stay on track.

So here are the rules for right now:
- No diet coke, except on cheat day (but I can have coffee, yay!)
- One cheat meal a week (although no more DQ blizzards... :( )
- 1600 calories on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, with a 50/30/20 split for protein, carbs, and fat (these days I train with weights)
- 1300 calories on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, same split (no weights)
- Cardio for an hour on Saturday, rest on Wednesday and Sunday.
- No dairy except milk in my coffee

This morning I started out with a small banana, a Tbsp of peanut butter, and a protein shake. I'm about to eat meal #2, which is oatmeal, vanilla protein, and blueberries. I also packed a big tuna salad with salsa for later, and some lean turkey with sauteed peppers and onions. I look forward to eating it all!!

Heavy is Heaven

I need to train with heavy weights!

Suddenly, yesterday morning, in the midst of a sweaty bootcamp session, it hit me: I loooove to train heavy. Not that I don't enjoy bootcamp and all of the conditioning and the skyrocketed heart rate and the legs-so-sore-I-can't-walk-straight feeling. I love all that.

But there's something unparalleled about the push of heavy weights. When you push them away from you, the gravity of them hits you back and snugs you right into that bench. And your focus intensifies. You frown. You set your jaw. You engage all of the muscle fibres you can possibly engage, and the weight does your bidding: it moves. You repeat this process ten, twelve times or so, and your body begins to fatigue. You push against that tiredness, recruiting more muscle fibres in an effort to keep going. And finally, when you can't push them up once more, you plunk those dumbbells down - hard - because you earned it. The blood engorges your arms, fills you up, and makes you feel tired but somehow invincible. You look in the mirror and see that vein in your bicep bulging. You shake your arms, roll your shoulders. Sip some water. And wait for that next set to take you back to that feeling of blissful agony.

Heavy day tomorrow. :)

Cautiously carbing up

Given my new "off season for now" training regime of Boot Camp twice a week, heavy full-body weights once, and three sessions of 45-minute cardio, I have decided to increase my carbohydrate intake. Doing this slowly and without suddenly going overboard will be the challenge; me faced with carbs is akin to a vampire faced with a helpless victim...

Yesterday, I added half a sweet potato and cottage cheese to my afternoon salad. Today I spread my peanut butter on a rice cake (so good!) and had that with a protein shake pre-workout. This afternoon I plan to have an apple and more peanut butter with my shake. It doesn't seem like much, but even these clean carbs are already making a huge difference in my energy levels and allowing me to work harder in the gym (and possibly give better massages... I should ask my clients if they notice a difference!) ;)

Now if I can only dodge the bowl of peanut M&Ms that always hangs around the office, I should be set...

change of plans

I've decided to skip the July show in Montreal. I'm enamoured at the moment with fresh summer fare, including pints of blueberries, locally grown cucumbers, and (ok, not so "fresh") light frappucinos from Starbucks ;)

In light of wanting to eat these things (and more!) I think I'm going to take it easy until August, when I will resume training in earnest for the October show in Ottawa. So, while still eating clean most of the time, I am now letting myself indulge in a bit of extra fats and carbs, and I must say I'm enjoying myself!

It is a little strange, however, to see the changes in my body. I'm trying to get used to the softer look of my arms and abs, and the fuller feeling of my legs in my jeans. Body image is an ongoing process for me, and always has been; I have to watch that I don't get too self-critical.

But so far, so good :)

Lessons in tact

Show a group of people a picture of a figure competitor and you will get a different response from everyone in the group:

"Wow, she's jacked!"
"Man, look at those abs!"
"That's awesome, but a little too muscular for my liking"
"I wish I could look like that!"
"I would never want to look like that!"

I have seen conversations like this happen often at the gym; they arouse the interest of many a member, of all different levels of training. I have participated in conversations like this often as well, having my own opinions on the subject (most often in favour of looking lean, with abs, etc). I always took these debates at face value: we were arguing about a body, a person's physique, someone we did not know and would never meet. And I was fine with that.

Until that person in the photo became me.

It's funny how I assumed people's opinions would change because they knew the person in the photograph. They didn't. The people who found muscles amazing before found them equally amazing on me when I showed them my competition photos. The people who found muscles "disgusting" before found them disgusting on me. And that's where I took offense. I realized, wait a minute, this is me they are calling gross and ugly. My physique that offends them. As much as I would like it to be, this is no longer just about a body or a physique, this is about mine! Where before I would have participated in the conversation, now I was the subject, and it was a huge wake-up call. I was hurt.

And I thought, what if, what if I decided to call their bodies disgusting? What if, in place of their pointing out the vein in my bicep and wincing, I pointed to their flabby tricep and had a good wince of my own? What if, when they told me (to my face, no less) that my abs were "too manly", I told them theirs were too paunchy? What if when they commented on my thinned face I commented in return on their double chin?

No, of course it wouldn't be acceptable. It would be downright rude. I won't be doing that (although the thought may flit across my mind...). What I am going to do, however, is gently remind them that there is a person behind the physique with feelings. And although mine don't get hurt all that easily, I now realize how words can sting. I will, in the future, be choosing my words more carefully.

And just for the record, I still think muscles are amazing. Critics be damned.

Is it delicious?

Yesterday, in conversation with a client, I was asked about the foods I eat often. As usual lately, my client was under the assumption that I ate terrible, bland, un-tasty foods in order to attain the ideal physique.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

My personal philosophy with food has always revolved around three things: satisfaction, flavour, and nutrition. If the food in front of me is nutritious, that's great: I'm more likely to choose it when hungry. But if that nutritous food tastes like cardboard, or doesn't make my hunger lessen, I'm not about to scarf it just beause it's healthy. There are so many amazing, tantalizing foods out there to choose from. Eating a variety of foods is a luxury that we are afforded in this amazing country, and I have always tried to appreciate that. When I cook, I add colourful peppers, succulent cuts of lean meat, and aromatic spices so that my meal becomes my feast. It doesn't matter if I'm having a salad or a stir-fry or a protein shake - you can bet on the fact that I've made it as delicious as possible (staying within nutritious boundaries, of course).

Now, eating delicious and satisfying and healthy food takes practice. It also takes some discipline. I find that if I get into the habit of eating processed and sugary foods (yes, that happens sometimes), my apprecation for the subtle flavours of my usual food decreases. How can you savour a sweet, juicy bite of an orange properly when you are used to chowing down on doughnuts and cupcakes? And how can the heady flavour of cumin and curry rubbed into chicken truly arouse your palatte if all it gets are breaded chicken burgers and fries?

I try every few months to try a food that I know is healthy. It could be quinoa (pronounced "kee-nwa") which is the next new thing in grains, or something simple that I haven't yet developed a taste for, like tuna (that one took awhile, but I'm hooked, now!). I try the food once, and give it a few days to see how I feel after I eat it. Then I try it again. Then once more for good measure. If by the third try I still don't feel jazzed about it, I don't worry about it. There are plenty of other healthy morsels to try. On the other hand, if I like it, I add it to my arsenal.

So if your protein powder tastes like chalk, you don't need to force it down. Find another that you can swallow without plugging your nose. Or better yet, eat a chicken breast, or another source of protein that appeals to you. But don't get the idea that to be fit and healthy you have to eat plain melba toast and spice-less egg whites all day.

Food is available to us to be enjoyed. So enjoy it! What delicious thing did you eat today?

Here we go...

Well, here goes round two.

Last weekend, I competed in my first figure and fitness model show, the IDFA Natural Novice Classic in Toronto. My goals were simple: I wanted to look like I belonged onstage with the others. I wanted to not fall on my face, wearing my *awesome* clear heels (4 inches! Much higher than the flats I'm used to). And I wanted to make my trainer (also my husband), J, proud.

I did all that and more: I ended up placing 9th out of 14 girls in the Figure round, and 4th in the Fitness Model round! I even got a medal, which is hanging proudly from my bathroom mirror, awaiting its new home in my fitness scrapbook.

This day marks the 7 week-out mark until my next show - who knows what this next one will bring?